Thursday, January 19, 2012

Guys, I need help.

Is there an "obsessive eater" support group? I don't mean support group for those who are pleasantly plump or verging on obese. I just mean a support group for people who get fixated on one kind of food and then just eat it constantly till it's gone.

It's a condition. It's something that I have to live with every day. Sometimes the days are very dark and the nights never ending, but every morning brings a glimmer of hope. That glimmer is squelched as soon as I walk in the kitchen...

I think it is the obsessive part of my personality that is presenting itself through my eating habits. It all started at the beginning of last semester with peanut butter and crackers. You can ask my roommates! Every time they walked into the kitchen... or my room... or the hallway... or the bathroom.... just kidding, I didn't eat in the bathroom, that's gross haha I was always eating peanut butter and crackers.

Until I realized that there is as much fat in a sleeve of Ritz crackers as there is in an ice cream sundae, plus the fat in peanut butter (which is a crap ton!).

When I got back from break, I had discovered my new love: applesauce. Somehow my gramma had heard about my new-found fixation and she had gotten me three large jars of applesauce to keep in my apartment, thinking I would never run out. They are all gone now. I would just sit there with a spoon and the jar and eat it. All. I went through an entire jar in one sitting. THAT IS UNHEALTHY. I received a lot of ridicule for that...

Anybody want to guess what I moved to next when I ran out of applesauce?? You'll never guess so I'll just tell you guys before your brains explode... (I know you are trying that hard.) Pretzels and Nutella. MMM NUTELLA. I love me some Nutella. Anywho! I had a third of a jar amongst my cupboards of sustenance. It was originally Peter's, but I had borrowed it for crepes and then never gave it back... I ended up finishing off that jar whilst reading my scriptures, started eating Erica's (what!? She didn't want it! I promise...), then I ran out of pretzels... So then I started eating Kim's pretzels (she has a massive bag, I didn't deplete her supply in the slightest. I'm not a moocher roommate. Gosh, I sound awful...). Are you listening to this!? I'm pathetic. ^That? That is pathetic.

I don't know what it is! I guess, when I like something, I really like something! It's like when you find a new song you like and you listen to it over and over... Except I just keep eating it and eating it. And then when I run out, I move on to something else and eat it till it's gone. I'm like a tornado, inhaling every edible thing in my sights. What is happening to meeee?!?

Welp. I ran out of Nutella today (yes, I'm fat, judge me silently). What will I move on to next? You'll just have to wait and see. I know - the suspense is killing you. Mwahaha....

No comments:

Post a Comment